Thursday, September 4, 2014

Government Hookup

It was all just an


Or was it something more?
I guess the overrated idea of “we found love in a hopeless place” is actually a pretty accurate statement. We find a person on the exact perfect time, the exact perfect moment, and the exact perfect phase. It was a hopeless situation where there’s a particular thirst, a particular craving towards the love we thought we deserve. Then someone else, particularly, in the same phase, also needs that. However, sometimes, things just fall apart, like they always do.

I guess it really is true that whatever you do, you have to remind yourself that you’ve got self worth. That no matter what you love and who you love, you should know that, you should value and love yourself more. Then eventually someone will come around, and just the act of love might be, or might not be worth it. When you know that you love yourself, no matter how bad a person breaks or bends you, you will always be there for yourself. You will be your own shoulder to cry on, you will be your own comforter, and clearly, you will learn to just, carry on through life-faster you know.

I chose Marilyn and JFK because, despite of their controversial conspiracy of love, I believe that whatever really happened between them, it must’ve meant something. At least for Marilyn, I guess. I’ve always taken Marilyn on being the fragile type who just lashes her tears by laughing. A true Hollywood sweetheart-turned-legend after her suicide. I believe that, like many other names, this blonde bombshell is misunderstood. She clearly couldn’t save herself, but what if death saved her. What if her pain was just way too much to live with. What if her best friends, which are diamonds, aren’t there for her when she cries her heart out. What if the bling is clearly numb, and what if Hollywood doesn’t have a heart at all.

The thing is, FAME consumes you, your CRAFT consumes you, and the PASSION for ART clearly takes so much of your time. This also applies to other profession, on business, on travels, on discovering and inventing scientific things. Whatever keeps one productive makes them successful, and in the end, It consumes the warmness in their heart. The love they deserve, the balance that keeps them in the middle. But what I’m trying to say here is that, I can be that one person who is so focused on art that I forget to find love, but I will always know that I have myself and I will never ever lose myself. Because I’ve got love and self worth and true acceptance for myself.

Numbness is a result of losing one’s self. I believe. It’s like the soul just crystallizes, it starts to feel nothing, and out of nowhere it’s supposed to hurt. At one point, the bitter cold needs to be melted. It needs to be burnt with that love I mentioned earlier, and I believe that is nothing but loving yourself. I learnt that you should never be dependent on anyone. I believe that love SHOULD NOT define someone’s life choices to an extent of ruining dreams. To an extent of putting love that everything seems to crumble for the sacrifices. I believe love is supposed to make you love yourself more. I believe that love should make sure you are more of yourself. And in the end, I believe that love should remind you how much of an amazing person you are. It needs to make you feel special. It needs to make sure that even if the memories linger, that you are too much of an amazing person to not move on if the story ends. Because the first person you love would be you----the person that you will never lose. Because when you lose yourself, then you’re a mess. You will start to just, be clingy and dependent. Love should teach you to be one thing, and that is a bigger person that just, loves yourself most. To put yourself first, but not be selfish. To be a warm, loving person that will never lose sight of whats important, which is loving themselves.

It’s like, love can simply just turn yourself into a person that is just  simply cold. It’s like, you’re warmed up with an immense heat that you’re so used to it, that a simple ice bucket challenge can turn you into something so drastic. It will wash all of the fire away, then turn you cold, then fortunately, all the pain away. It’s a cycle. It’s simply a phase of how worth it the memories are. Whether the numbness are worth to fight for and getting through to.

I’m writing this in honor of my admiration to break downs. I believe, in order for someone to finally succeed, one should learn to break free. To clearly be themselves against the world. To not be afraid to make a statement and run with his dreams and just clearly be an individual, who needs nobody’s approval to run what he wants to run to. I believe that the best people are the ones who make a move, at least just by being bold enough to speak out his thoughts. To run through the world in an immense amount of love for speed, the thrill of life. The fast life and the lonely heart. And clearly making the whole world crash in an artistic earthquake. I believe all of that is part of my life, I believe that I am born to make a statement. They say oblivion is inevitable, but I’m going to leave my footprints all over the world in a gypsy life ideology I believe in.

I portrayed JFK and Marilyn for one reason. I love the bling, I love the fame, and I love the governmental conspiracy, but apart from all that, I believe that they represent qualities some people are against. I believe that Marilyn was misunderstood, and all she really, aimed for, was love. Like many other villains. I believe that a craving for love is necessary. I believe that, how deep you are just into work, there’s an urge to throw your love into something. I believe today I’ve made up my mind to throw that love to art. I believe that art will always remain loyal to me, being a life partner and a life changer, a voice to the world. I believe that I will find “proper love” one day, and it’s not about the rushes that matter. I believe that one should always love themselves more. And no, I didn’t write all of this out of a broken heart. I wrote all this in confusion. I tried to put all the puzzle pieces together, seeing how love can be so significant to one. How love can be a source of warmness and happiness. I believe that love is the only true virtue. Start loving everything good in your life and learn from the bad ones. The rest, let it be. 


  1. gorgeous.. mau dong dipotoin.. keren dah..

    visit mine,
    Miss Aa

  2. I just came across your blog and i am in awe. Love your artwork and writing!