A part of me knew
this was going to end disastrous, but another part of me wants to become a part
of this, a part of me wants all the fame and the fortune, the money, and the
ultimate league, an address of the high society, the society that controls the
world, the society that plays the backstage of this horrible drama. The society
camouflaging reality onto a better logic, you see. A kiss so sweet, that is how
it just attracts you, like honey, all the diamonds and pearls a girl can
posses, that’s how it works, it’s a trap and it ends sweetly, it will end with
me. That is how I call it, the face of the virtual virtues, I knew this was
trouble.
I come out with my beautiful, innocent, crimson heart, I
come out and bring that as me and moreover for me and everyone else. My eyes
are opened wide, they bring me over, they invite me, it’s like one of those
parties I didn’t want to attend at first, but one of the best highlights of my
live in the end, it’s a beautiful ceremony when everyone is just-a bit wilder,
you see.
Then in the midst of this madhouse, I meet this guy, his
eyes as piercing as swords, his cheek bones as striking as arrows of light, but
he is the one who has the smile of an angel, an angel so pure I could never
suspicious anything more than the word charming. He is as charming as the slight
thin rainbows the sky posses, and his awkwardly shy behavior made the colors of
his personas more attractive, he is my little lover for the night, or more like
every other night, since my mind was set as a long party, whereas I danced my heart through the beautiful tunes I can never ask for more, the charm was all over him when he hit the grand piano.
He is an architect on his early age, he is a man I could never predict I would meet like a week ago, and then he comes over to me, like a crimson, charming unicorn, under the shades of his little husky voice, so sweet he sounded like the thin cigarettes floating on the smoking area on the coffee shop, he is like an ecstasy I can never resist, he is the addictive factor I can never let go, well at least for “the night”.
I am a man and a woman of many personas, I am not just one but partly 12, and this part of me doesn’t want to leave, but everybody else are alarming the alarm I can never understand, I am just a kid and usually these alarms happen turn out to be the part of me who’s right, the part of me who knows and senses the part of the world which should never be touched and burnt down by the darker shades that sound so innocent in the beginning, I am preserving myself in a way, and I can never know when to follow the alarm. The Masquerade Ball sound like my ceremony, where I can finally be hidden and masked
I fell apart on the dress, moreover like under the dress, he
is as frigid and cold as his eyes, like the cold blooded creature he is the
fire in the water, whereas he is the bigger fire coming over to freeze me down
in immortality, I am finally changed, I am finally turned onto a new blood,
more like bloodless, my tan skin turns pale, a pale version of my tan,
moreover, which isn’t visible enough until I before the next dawn. I am finally
realizing all of this trouble will never be worth. I am lost, my innocent is on
a vacation and got hit by a star cruise, so every single part of my lighter
personas follow me as slaves. I am just this wild, curious, and fierce creature
I can never explain to myself, moreover like how I can never explain the beauty
of blood, ombre, and inverted triangles.
I guess after all the fighting, the shopping, and the blood
sucking, I just have to accept this part of me, this part of me who glimmers
under my pale, tan skin which should be visible any time soon, and my hair
which is messed around the area where my heart pumps faster. I am hit onto the
rocky rocks of my mind, I am finally a feline, I am finally the creature
needing nothing more but the prey. Whereas he became animalistic but he sounded more of an innocent, as we raced through our glimmering shoes, which may lead to spirals, he drops me onto one arena.
Everybody else holds an invisible collar for me, they
should’ve suspected this heart-racing, animalistic persona which is partly
being prepared to marry the dark, to marry the infinity, the immortal, and the
end tips of the checker boards, to marry the dusk, to marry the night, the
night holding the eye seeing up above. The eye which seeks for his hunger, for this creature is just darkly screaming
deep inside, as an animal, and as a human, as a Hybrid.
But then there’s a new voice inside of me, the voice of grudge, the grudge I want to leap onto, to the addiction which should be no other but my fault, I should’ve trusted his eyes and his mysterious heart, I should’ve sensed his cold persona deep inside that should be trouble for me, a troublesome figure to later become my role model, the king I preserve.
I realized that if he can be as sweet as roses, cupcakes,
and glitter, he can be as pathetic as a homeless bird, so my vanity mind takes
over, my mind set was being viewed as the femme fatale I became, a wild one,
for sure. I am not only fierce, edgy, and darker than the moon, but I am as
glittering as Marilyn Monroe, I am a feminist to myself, I am the female
empowerment to myself under the crystal chandelier holding the power of
masculinity over feminism, a subliminal orgy I can never understand, a pain I
should stop becoming. I walk like the glitter I am, I become the jewelry I am
worth, I become a pearl and a diamond in the exact same time, I am a final
sequined dress, matched under Aphrodite with a pair of Studded Louboutins ,
edged out with snake skin, I am a woman of red, I am the woman of myself, I am
a creature of woman.
But then this little voice of me comes out like a curtain
call, it’s fury strikes like an aerial ace, like hurricane burning the end tips
of my fingers, the rainbow opening a way for the leprechaun to fake fame, the
voice of love, the voice of forgiveness. He may not appear with a white bloody
unicorn, but he appears in studs, and with a golden cape and a crimson colored
rose, I always thought roses should considerably be marked hypocritical, as it
posses the petals of different shades, falling apart in the end.
So I said the word I always wanted to say as a little Alice
in the Wonderland, in spirals I walk around the walk, but in the end, it’s a
pair of invisible red flippers under these platform and high heels, I am
walking in spirals, I am walking the live of Dorothy where in the end everybody
gets what they needed, they get the shit they own from the beginning, whereas
they never really realized the shades of it, the shades that lies between their
insecurities, and I found mine, I found love and it glimmers better in the
dark.
They talk like my heartbeat of my past when I come and open up, whereas the one I love is no longer visible, wrapped in the golden auburn horns, where I can never leave my innocence behind, but I can always change her onto me, I am finally the inner beast he brought out, I am finally the starring role of this game, I am a starring role of the dark, and believe me, it’s sometimes a lot better, I am just another girl, hit down the ground to make a change through my shadows, through these thick eyeliner I can only smirk ad blink with to look beautiful, even in my ceremony, and the attendant who I thought was the innocent Mickey Mouse, ended up to be the handler who was hiding this whole time, controlling my acts, and he holds the ceremonial with the hourglass symbol, from dirty, crimson, liquid, swelling through the writer’s nose.
I finally become the lady I’ve always looked up to, I became
more of myself, the me I haven’t really met in the past few centuries in my
past lives, I believe this was meant to be. I am masked, but visible, I am the
creature I became earlier and more now, slowly I put my hands on his, and we
closed the part of our eyes which is a medium for our handlers, the eye we see,
the eye we know, which is hidden, we are bending our personas onto one, and I
know where Dorothy ends up in the end, she ends up masked on her home, and as
for me, I am bending my persona with him, we are finally one in two different
bodies. And the staring dolls hold my sad innocence, because no one is going to
take my soul away, because nobody really sold it, but in the end, I am not a
product, I am a controller, I am the lost innocent because I am more of myself
then. I am the part of me I can never
really be apart from, I am Ray Kellia Rhodensoma.
PhotoVogue Features:
THE PHOTOGRAPHIC SENSE
PAR.Reinhardt Kenneth
Models. Rania Putri Sari,Evan Darius Effendi @Red Models,Lukas Atmaja @Lookgraphy,Kelby Immanuel Rusli, Fajar Adi Sulaksono&Crew@Inter Models
Stylist.Nadya Joy
Hairstylist.Valencia Yong
Wardrobe.Diana Couture
Interior.Theresia The
Lighting Director.Lukas Atmaja @Lookgraphy
Jewelry.BarQco
Headpieces.Dawi&Chris
This will be THE PHOTOGRAPHIC SENSE's last post of the year, bloody unicorns, thank you so much for always having my back, for always being such a doll to my crimson heart, for all your art and your support, and for everything else, thank you so much,2012 had been a blessing towards my heart, see you very soon in 2013, in 2013, there will be no more lazy blogging, kunts! So, I know everyone else mostly is posting countdowns of the bests of 2012, I decided to post this because, this is the past part of me I want to expose currently, and I usually just end up getting bored on my old stuff, so enjoy it while you can, we were born for art!.HAPPY NEW YEAR, don't ever regret, a friend of mine said, that everything you own, will end up owning you in the end, thats what Jamie said. GOD BLESS YOU. xo
