Tuesday, May 26, 2015


An epiphany striked my mind. I'm old, I'm eighteen, I'm legal. Practically, I'm an adult. Practically, I knew I had to leave youth on a close time frame, which is why I never really grieved. I've anticipated loss to strike me in a much more cruel way, in between happiness. Through sadness, I've learned that, based on a soap comedy I watched yesterday, that pain in just weakness leaving the body. I knew at one point I had to choose, do I want to go for love, or do I want to go for art. Do I want to stay in this metropolitan, yet limited city, or spread my wings to the edges of the world. Knowing that one day, spreading my wings will leave inevitable shadows on the lives I've touched. Art is a wonderful medium of expression. It ceases to provoke, yet with beauty. Art isn't necessarily only subjective, it is a reflective medium of what a generation presents. It always, always, always, can be seen as a controversial figure.


I've learned that my life is a performance art piece. It is a media of expression to tell a story. A reflection of where I want to drive my life towards, to endless summers or to the pot of gold behind rainbows?. Whether I want to live everyday like my last, or keep wishing for another day. To waste my youth on pure happiness, or waste it to work hard for the things I want.

Because one day, I want to call my parents and tell them I've made it.

I want to see the sunset, by the bonfire at the beach, raising my glass for all the choices I've made.

Perhaps my words symbolizes me being two faced.

Or perhaps it symbolizes that I just have more aspects to myself which is visible to only myself.
The persona representing the girl is divided into three different persona.

I produced "METAMORPHOSIS: Alice/Malice" as a result of the perfect hourglass theorem. A symmetrical timing perfectly capturing the sunset hued liquid leaving the oral cavity. Why is the liquid orange? Was she poisoned? Was she happy? Did she get a hungover?

The true answer lies in the back of the viewer's heads. As much as an artwork is an artists statement, the true controversy sparks from the provocation of the viewers. Personally, for me, orange represents the mild warmth of what she was releasing. It was anger, it was emotion, but it had it's reasons. It's not blood red, it's sunset orange. It's about freedom of speech, it's about letting it all out, but please do that before the sun sets. Before the day turns dark after orange. Before the emotions pile up and results as unlikely bile, poisoning the body. It is an expression of how we, as human beings, should let it all out to make ourselves feel better, but to forget about it after sunset. It isn't good to carry poison in your body, so make sure you don't regret it.

Powdered with flour. The girl in the left expresses the coldness of her heart. The worries, the regrets, the true emotional breakdown. The shadows killing the light our of her life. Was she blinded by worldly possessions? Or was she blinded from reality?. The true epitome lies in fantasy, she copes with all the pain by escaping reality, by letting dust alter her reality with dreams of a perfect land. The weakness of not facing reality, yet the strength of letting dream come in her way. Deceiving the cruelty by an immoral lullaby, which is pride. Pride will carry her nowhere but back home. Because she's got nothing if she doesn't let it all out. Sadness is poison, the bile contains toxic.

Then there's the beauty in crying (the girl on the right). Letting it out, but it all seems to not be enough. Another part of letting it our. Another persona, perhaps. Tears are both a reflection of weakness and strength. The strength to release all the weakness. Do you still want to negotiate with insecuirites? Don't you want to wash it all out of your life?. Wash it all away, wash away all the concealed feelings. You can change like a season, but when you need to lose all of your leaves and go through a tough snowstrom, remember that there is still life inside your roots. Was it an emotional approach? It's a realistic one.

Art is what you get out of a collision of ultimate narcissism and demeaning insecurity. Art is that explosive result of what you get in between. That is why she lets it all out. Through an ethereal approach of beauty and art, the vomit is being represented of letting all of the negativity run out of her. That is how I face my problems, I let it all out in the canvas of photography. It's truly a mutualism of the body and the artwork. Make sure it's strong enough to be both an approach of deforestation of the forest of sadness. Make sure you are your own Nightingale. Make sure you got yourself. You decide your path, you are your own creature, you know yourself best. Make sure natural selection doesn't force you to change that niche. However, always be open to lessons.

This past month has been a roller coaster experience for me. The devastation I have to face on the last week has been massive. One thing or another, I know my flaws, and what I have to do to them is embrace them towards an artwork. If it is radioactive, it is truly a wavelength of an artwork. If it is dissapointment, embrace that, if it is expectations you believe in, reach them. In life, you are your only hero. Everyone else is busy saving themselves. So make sure you embrace that, make sure you are your own super hero with your own super powers. I think I just claimed mine.

"METAMORPHOSIS: Alice/Malice" a piece commenting on personal grief and alter egos will be on the digital showing of "Exposure 2015" in The Louvre, Paris, France. I am very grateful I've took the step of using all of my thoughts as an artwork. It is still ethereal at times witnessing where this piece has gotten into. The symmetrical lines, the butterfly symbolism, the heads, the hair. It all makes sense in the least possible way. A big thank you to Giovana Christie as the muse as well as Shelley Sebastian as the make up and hair mastermind. Bravo.

PAR. Reinhardt Kenneth
Model. Giovana Christie
Hair & Make Up. Shelley Sebastian

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